Identity

[Musical Sore]

The best person to comment on this is Charles Dodgson. He may, of course, be a pseudonymous member of this forum, but I am sure he will allow me to quote three passages from "Through the Looking Glass" (the first is surely a commentary on hexagonal Aeolas).

 

`Don't stand chattering to yourself like that,' Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the first time, `but tell me your name and your business.'

`My name is Alice, but --'

`It's a stupid name enough!' Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. `What does it mean?'

`Must a name mean something?' Alice asked doubtfully.

`Of course it must,' Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: `my name means the shape I am -- and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.

 

---

 

‘The name of the song is called "HADDOCKS' EYES."'

`Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?' Alice said, trying to feel interested.

`No, you don't understand,' the Knight said, looking a little vexed. `That's what the name is CALLED. The name really IS "THE AGED AGED MAN."'

`Then I ought to have said "That's what the SONG is called"?' Alice corrected herself.

`No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The SONG is called "WAYS AND MEANS": but that's only what it's CALLED, you know!'

`Well, what IS the song, then?' said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.

`I was coming to that,' the Knight said. `The song really IS "A-SITTING ON A GATE"

 

---

 

`This must be the wood, she said thoughtfully to herself, `where things have no names. I wonder what'll become of MY name when I go in? I shouldn't like to lose it at all--because they'd have to give me another, and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun would be trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That's just like the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs--"ANSWERS TO THE NAME OF `DASH:' HAD ON A BRASS COLLAR"--just fancy calling everything you met "Alice," till one of them answered! Only they wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise.'

[chris]

Hi

I never could think up a pseudonym it was always easier to use my name

chris (pseudless)

[David Levine]

When you're wanted in seven states of course you don't want to post your real name and your location.

[moonsagotunes]

Hmm....well, my first thought is to say 'Yeah' -- I'd prefer that we knew real names. Though, obviously, I'm not opposed to using pseudonymns.

 

Our 'real' identities often have little to do with our given names. Lunatics stuck in normal families, we are!

 

I used to think people who used 'handles' were kind of ridiculous -- like all those funny weirdos talking over the CB radio and whatever. Now, here I am -- never thought I'd be calling myself 'Bellowbelle.'

 

For the record, I am related by marriage to Fishbones, a former king of the hoboes -- a bit of a national folk hero. I do know his real name....and if you Google Fishbones I think you can get all that info. I'll be spending Christmas with some of his family, as usual. *

 

Anyway, my real name is given with every post, down below in the signature. So, I can still embarress my more traditional family members, heheh!

 

*edit added:

Google -- Fishbones hobo to get specifics

Edited December 21, 2007 by bellowbelle

[JimLucas]

When you're wanted in seven states of course you don't want to post your real name and your location.

And yet, so many people complain about feeling

un

wanted.

[jdms]

I sign my initials (also known as my forum id) to most of my posts and many of my emails (emails to people I shouldn't expect to recognize initials get first or first and last name)--it's part of my name, anyway...

 

Joshua Dabney Mackay-Smith

[JimLucas]

I sign my initials (also known as my forum id) to most of my posts and many of my emails (emails to people I shouldn't expect to recognize initials get first or first and last name)--it's part of my name, anyway...

 

Joshua Dabney Mackay-Smith

J

ust

D

on't

M

ention

S

queezeboxes

!

[asdormire]

You know, last summer I was siting and talking with Bob Tedrow at the Dublin Irish fest, and he asked how I came by my screen name. I said it was my first two initials and last name.

 

Alan Senmarsh Dormire

[m3838]

You know, last summer I was siting and talking with Bob Tedrow at the Dublin Irish fest, and he asked how I came by my screen name. I said it was my first two initials and last name.

 

Alan Senmarsh Dormire

 

A friend of mine, a poet, released his book of poetry, where each page is numbered 38.

[Frank Edgley]

Just to add my nickel's worth, I agree with Allen's original sentiment. I said as much a few years back when concertins.net changed its format. I, personally, would feel more comfortable communicating with people with real names, but I am a little more used to it than when this first started. I'm not sure what reason there is for this "custom", but I have always tried to be straight with people I speak with and look them straight in the eye when I do. This is a little like talking with someone who feels like they need to wear a mask to conceal their identity. I know forums like this have their own culture, but it runs counter to what I was brought up with. I guess it shows my age!

[Leo]

Hi everyone

 

Never gave it much thought. I suppose too many years talking, and listening to communications radio to disembodied anonymous voices named Cleveland, Montreal, New York, and such. I got used to no names.

 

Nicknames are another personal thing. Some started as personal jest, and just stuck for many years. Somehow Tiny, Shorty, Stinkey, Dirty Dave, all real people I know, and all sound ok to me. Again, never gave it much thought. Just grew up with it.

 

Thanks

Real First Name

Leo

[allan atlas]

FOLKS: now Frank raises a very interesting point. . . . . indeed, perhaps he has just clobbered the nail on its head. . . . .do those who support my original motion (now withdrawn, remember) and those who oppose it fall into different age groups. . . . .with the yeas generally being older and the nays generally being younger (and brought up in an internet world, in which i certainly was not). . . . . .

 

PLEASE, HOWEVER: let us not repeat the entire sequence of communications with ages now added. . . . . . .life is much too short..........and i rather suspect that both Frank and i can live without the answer. . . . . .indeed, i've already judged it to be right!

 

Allan/Anon. MDCCCXIX

[pugwash]

I had noticed that people use their real names on this forum. The only reason I use a pseudonym is because that is usually the norm on forums, I do sign my real name at the bottom of posts though.

 

Richard (Knight)

 

P.S. Allan, only a few more days, I can then get to read your book, shall let you know.

[allan atlas]

I had noticed that people use their real names on this forum. The only reason I use a pseudonym is because that is usually the norm on forums, I do sign my real name at the bottom of posts though.

 

Richard (Knight)

 

P.S. Allan, only a few more days, I can then get to read your book, shall let you know.

 

 

 

Dear Richard: PLEASE DO. . . . HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. . . . . .

 

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: so that no one thinks i'm rude for not continuing the conversation. . . .note that i will be out of e-mail range from saturday morning to rather late on tuesday. . . . . . .allan

[Marien]

Why are you up side downs always hanging around in discussions in the middle of the night?

[yankeeclipper]

Most who've known me as yankeeclipper have been fleeced.

[moonsagotunes]

Why are you up side downs always hanging around in discussions in the middle of the night?

 

Hi...

 

I'm apt to show up in the forum at any given time of day....so, not just the middle of the night!

 

I would prefer to sleep through the night (or, day, if you're...up-side-down...), but, for various reasons, I tend to keep weird hours. And, as well, I have to use the computer when it's owner (my daughter) is not using it.

[JimLucas]

I agree with Allen's original sentiment. I said as much a few years back when concertins.net changed its format. I, personally, would feel more comfortable communicating with people with real names, but I am a little more used to it than when this first started. I'm not sure what reason there is for this "custom", but I have always tried to be straight with people I speak with and look them straight in the eye when I do. ... I know forums like this have their own culture, but it runs counter to what I was brought up with.

I think "culture" is an important word here. I've been told time and again that if I ever want to do business in Japan, I must never look anyone in the eye. It would be considered a challenge and an insult, and the offended person would never conclude a deal with the "looker" or ever try to do business with them again. In America, on the other hand, if you don't "look them straight in the eye", they are likely to assume that you're either insecure or dishonest, neither of which is considered a good trait in a business partner.

 

But it's not just from country to country. I've lived in various parts of the US and now in Denmark, and I've seen that the customs and requirements for social interaction can vary considerably... from city to city, according to economic class or ethnic background, and even among members of the same family. In the end, the feeling is personal, though certainly influenced by your environment -- family, peers, friends, enemies, media and celebrities -- as you grow up.

 

Here's an example: On one occasion some long-time friends -- including couples J+P and R+M, who had grown up in the same city, but with different ethnic backgrounds -- were gathered at an event. At one point J did a favor for M which M considered most generous and M showed his appreciation by saying "thank you", emphasized by a peck on the cheek. He did it without thinking, as to him it was a high complement. R, M's wife, beamed, proud of her husband for such a generous demonstration of his appreciation. J's husband P, ordinarily meek and quiet, flew into a fury! His reaction made it clear that he considered that dainty kiss to be little different from attempted rape. J herself didn't react quite as violently, but it was clear that she was taken aback by M's brazenness. And I repeat that these were people who had been friends and together frequently over the course of many years.

 

I guess it shows my age!

FOLKS: now Frank raises a very interesting point. . . . . indeed, perhaps he has just clobbered the nail on its head. . . . .do those who support my original motion (now withdrawn, remember) and those who oppose it fall into different age groups. . . . .with the yeas generally being older and the nays generally being younger (and brought up in an internet world, in which i certainly was not). . . . . .

 

...i rather suspect that both Frank and i can live without the answer. . . . . .indeed, i've already judged it to be right!

And I (as you might guess) believe it to be wrong. I know people of all generations who fall into both categories, i.e., 1) feeling a need to have persons identified by name, and 2) not feeling such a need. I also find that the first group often feel a need to have names used in personal conversation. I.e., saying "hi" or "so long" is considered inadequate or even offensive, but "hi, Jim" or "so long, Allan" is "proper". I believe my parents, both now gone, would have been a generation before you, Allan, but neither was much concerned with people's names. To them (and now to me), a person's name was something you learned eventually if you spent enough time with them, and there was no requirement for how long that would take. To them (and to me) a person was defined by what they did, not by their "name".

 

I think there's a lesson to be learned here -- beyond simple tolerance, -- but I don't think it's that there's a generation gap, or even an "internet gap". It's that the values we grew up with -- even the ones we consider "fundamental" -- are not the same for everyone. It is true, though, that the internet has resulted in the mixing of people with different backgrounds and beliefs to a far greater extent than was conceivable only a few decades ago. I think that is forcing those of us who participate to confront these differences and make decisions (which could be based on emotion as well as "reason") of priority in our behavior, maybe even to the extent of accepting "in our hearts" behavior which we have long considered "inappropriate".

Now where did we put that

Can o' Worms

picture?

Allan/Anon. MDCCCXIX

Allan, I recommend caution in your choice of pseudonyms. You seem to be developing a sequence, the next step of which could be "Al Anon". And that requires 12 steps more.