geoffwright Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Would a gynaecologist mend his concertina through the letter box? When barristers play the concertina is it dis-tort-ed? (No Viennese jokes from lovers of chocolate about being dis-torte-d) Do lorry-drivers play truc-ulently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Do concertina makers have to go into therapy if they fret too much? Concertinas always speak in tongues. Members of the underground resistance remove one screw from the end of their concertina, to make sure they always have a bolthole ready. Then there was the anglo player who tried unsuccessfully to live off his music. He was always strapped for funds. And the fat man who took up the melodeon, because he felt he needed something diet-tonic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
premo Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Are public library users prticularly fond of the concertina because its another free read? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Wild Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Does a concertina think it will grow up to be a melodion?Al Of course not - it thinks melodions will never grow up Loan sharks pull a fast one then squeeze you hard. - John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Sasso Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Do plumber's bellows never leak? Are a group of accomplished concertina players jolly good bellows? Are a group of bad concertina players bellow-standard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 Does a concertina think it will grow up to be a melodion?Of course not - it thinks melodions will never grow up Reminds me of a joke I heard from Robert Harbron: ... What's the difference between a melodeon player and a human sperm.? ............. The human sperm has a 1-in-10 million chance of becoming a human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Day Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 Do Politicians want us to play the concertina at all? Well "Yes",but on the other hand "No" Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart estell Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 At the next election, vote for the melodeon players... then we'll set about having a "hung" parliament Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Day Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 Do accountants play the concertina like a calculator? If Henry the Eighth had had a concertina that he could not play,would he have had one of the ends cut off? Would a fast food worker play the concertina with a bag of chips next to them? When the Astronauts were bouncing on the moon did they have a concertina strapped to each foot ? Al Now I am being silly!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 When the Astronauts were bouncing on the moon did they have a concertina strapped to each foot ? In a vacuum? Whatever for?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Wild Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Do accountants play the concertina like a calculator? No we do not! I expect the concertina to produce the right result. I suppose there could be a use for a concertina with an LED display, or maybe a printing concertina that could print out the tune you just played. - John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Do accountants play the concertina like a calculator? Accountants play only double-entryaction concertinas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Day Posted November 23, 2004 Author Share Posted November 23, 2004 OK then John, do Concertina players play tunes on their calculators ? Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Wild Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 OK then John, do Concertina players play tunes on their calculators ?Al Unfortunately the tapping sound is the same note on each button. I have seen a tune played on a mobile phone - John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 OK then John, do Concertina players play tunes on their calculators ?Al This one has been known to. I used to have a credit card-size calculator/clock made by CASIO, in which each digit plus the decimal point sounded its own note of the scale. You could use that for inputting your own tune for the clock's alarm, but it could also be set to sound those notes when displaying the result of a calculation. I never understood why they didn't continue making it, since it's the only calculator I've ever encountered which could be used by a blind person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart estell Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 I used to have a credit card-size calculator/clock made by CASIO, in which each digit plus the decimal point sounded its own note of the scale. The forerunner, no doubt, of the VL-1, or VL-Tone, one of the first cheap home synths with editable sounds - which doubled as a handy calculator! I'm the proud owner of one of these things - it hasn't been used on stage since about 1998, but it has a habit of going wonderfully, and unpredictably, out of tune if it's left switched on for long enough. The "drum" patterns also speed up and slow down of their own accord with no warning. Picture of a Casio VL-Tone The LCD screen on mine is bust, sadly, so the calculator bit is of no use whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henk van Aalten Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Picture of a Casio VL-Tone Stuart I own (since ages) the same "apparatus". I had lots of fun with it. Must be somewhere on the attic and did not see it for years. I will dig it up and see if it can be revived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 I will dig it up and see if it can be revived. And that answers the question, "What do you do?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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