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Chris Timson

6th Annual Charles Wheatstone Memorial Mornington Crescent Game

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Continuing our nautical theme, today would have been the 140th birthday of Captain Arthur Hebden-Bridge, "The scourge of Haringey Lido." AHB is widely considered to be the father of modern Mornington Crescent. A relentless innovator and pusher of boundaries, classic moves such as the "Reverse Blind Parallel," "Two lateral hops," and "Arthur's fancy" can all trace their origins to his work.

 

Arthur was of course also a complete rogue, cheat, charlatan, and pervert - devising such abominations as "Bridge's left wing," and "Three take a journey to Whitechapel" - and the modern sliding scale system of demerits was originally invented just for him. It was, perhaps fittingly, one of his most disturbing moves, "Nancy does Balham" AKA "Arthur's Folly" that directly led to his execution in 1917.

 

Arthur's conviction for being a German Fifth Columnist was overturned in 1967 following proof of evidence tampering found by the 1964 Royal Commission investigating the influence of the shadowy fundamentalist "Mornington Circle" organisation. It remains true however that even today only one of his original moves is considered legal - and that only after a ruling by the European Court on Human Rights in 2004.

 

In his honour therefore, I'd like to invoke Arthur's 1898 move celebrating the opening of the Waterloo & City Line called "Let's go visit the money grasping b******s" and move to Bank

Edited by Woody

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I shout, from the turrets of the Britannia Royal Naval College on Anglesey: "BANK"

 

In his honour therefore, I'd like to invoke Arthur's 1898 move celebrating the opening of the Waterloo & City Line called "Let's go visit the money grasping b******s" and move to Bank

 

Some interesting sub-prime play going on here. Presumably both players are after large bonuses.

 

Did I hear an inverse Triple Backstep whistle past just then? Coo-er!

 

Chris

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I shout, from the turrets of the Britannia Royal Naval College on Anglesey: "BANK"

 

In his honour therefore, I'd like to invoke Arthur's 1898 move celebrating the opening of the Waterloo & City Line called "Let's go visit the money grasping b******s" and move to Bank

 

Some interesting sub-prime play going on here. Presumably both players are after large bonuses.

 

Did I hear an inverse Triple Backstep whistle past just then? Coo-er!

 

Chris

Well Chris, just because the inverse Triple Backstep - particularly, as with this case, incorporating a suppurating hood-wrangle - is the simplest of tactics and is to be found on page 1 of the Idiots Guide to MC, it is still a very useful one - particularly if you're trying to block the chance of somebody scoring ten belties.

 

By the way Chris, congratulations on spelling "inverse Triple Backstep" with the technically accurate lower case "i" for "inverse." Not many people bother with such attention to detail in this day and age. As you know the "Inverse Triple Backstep" is a completely different and rarely seen tactic these days, and neither should of course be confused with the "Inverse triple backstep" which is just bad manners. Oh I remember how my father had tears rolling down his face as he laughed for three hours non-stop when as a novice I got the three muddled up. What a fool I must have looked :rolleyes:

Edited by Woody

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Sorry. Did you say play has reached Bank?

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Sorry. Did you say play has reached Bank?

 

Moved on to:

 

Herons Quays

 

DIM* Gambit

 

[* Docklands Island Manoeuvre]

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Moved on to:

 

Herons Quays

 

DIM* Gambit

 

[* Docklands Island Manoeuvre]

Using the Common Correlation Manoevre with the game Finchley Central (as described in 1969) I'm moving to

Canada Water

 

(and carefully avoiding Nidd :P )

Edited by SteveS

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Possibly, Irene, in which case I will leap in with Wellington's gambit of 1814 and play Waterloo.

 

Chris

Under the norules surely it is not enough to sing goodnight Irene, Chris, before boarding the train at Waterloo to cross the waters. Did you follow the May 25, 1878 engagement revisions and first drop down to the quay and play a jaunty sailor tune ("When I was a lad" -- Sir Joseph and Ch--ris--orus)with your tina on the main stage of the Royal Festival Hall to lead the orchestra in HMS Pinafore?

 

BTW Irene must be tri-running late and may need rescuing from the tower of her castle, as her pachyderm (a relative, clearly, of M Sam Wild) from over the seas and faraway where the Crescent rises, has had a sad mishap:

Edited by Kautilya

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I shout, from the turrets of the Britannia Royal Naval College on Anglesey: "BANK"

 

In his honour therefore, I'd like to invoke Arthur's 1898 move celebrating the opening of the Waterloo & City Line called "Let's go visit the money grasping b******s" and move to Bank

 

Some interesting sub-prime play going on here. Presumably both players are after large bonuses.

 

Did I hear an inverse Triple Backstep whistle past just then? Coo-er!

 

Chris

Penalty penalty surely!! Orthograpy rules: - "money grasping b******s" is not spelt with a 'B' amongst the Cockney sailors such as those cussing in the Woody trees at Heron's Quay......

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I shout, from the turrets of the Britannia Royal Naval College on Anglesey: "BANK"

 

In his honour therefore, I'd like to invoke Arthur's 1898 move celebrating the opening of the Waterloo & City Line called "Let's go visit the money grasping b******s" and move to Bank

 

Presumably both players are after large bonuses.

 

 

Chris

Oooh yes please and we want double with NO quits coz we raided BANK twice without leaving the station by using the now back-in-use up-and-down escalators from the gold vault.....

Edited by Kautilya

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Of course if you are loaded with booty you'll need to call at Custom House in order to make it a legal move. Or else get off at St Pauls for the Old Bailey.

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Penalty penalty surely!! Orthograpy rules: - "money grasping b******s" is not spelt with a 'B' amongst the Cockney sailors such as those cussing in the Woody trees at Heron's Quay......

Good point - except that AHB was of course an officer and a gentleman and spoke the Queen/King's English - all despite the fact that he came from Bradford-on-Avon! Amazing really :P

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Of course if you are loaded with booty you'll need to call at Custom House in order to make it a legal move. Or else get off at St Pauls for the Old Bailey.

That's a DLR (dysclexkic Lady Detemps Reversionary manouevre)so Chris, surely she should not be allowed to get away with it -- it also requires Olympic strength to jump from Saafend Marine Pier to the train, then overland to Stratford under-ground to get back overground onto the DLR at Custom House.

 

Is a public confession not in order for such a DLR? And where else but at St Paul's?

 

(BTW The Old Bailey judge has already been knobbled and whipped with a Lachenal and then made to walk the plankform so funereal bass-baritone concertinas should gather at:

 

TOWER HILL!!

 

The judge will be picked out of the water like a damp concertina at Traitor's Gate where a rowboat will take his kawpse and follow in the Ozzie tracks of Abel Magwitch (caught on the Essex Thames estuary while heading for Hamburg on the packet via Saafend ).

But it is prognosticated that the judge will end up in Klingenthal for a refit of new bellows and valves so he can breathe again and come back to haunt the Great Game with a jolly gig and a shanty.

(PS His name is Judge John REED after the famous Edwardian Tv (Terravision) character who frequented musical halls with Alan a Day and Night, tho as an Amateur not one of "The Professionals".

Edited by Kautilya

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Samantha - you tried that move last year. I thought that the rules precluded repeats of dodgy tries like that!:angry:

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The next Arran Concertina Event will be held from 7th to 10th October 2011.

 

Samantha - you tried that move last year. I thought that the rules precluded repeats of dodgy tries like that!:angry:

Oh No! That means I have to get back from Arran again!

 

OK - opening a naval Port illo for another train journey, starting on board the Skye Boat (song which I can just manage on my non-Kirkpatrick 20b anglo), and then, wearing my new Arran sweater against the cold, jumping on the roof of BonniePrince Charles' Royal train which will travel underground all the way in case it is seen by the banker-squeezed tina proles and into a special siding at

 

SAINT PANCRAS ICA [/b]International Concer T'minal Arrivals[/b]

 

with Tube underneath!! (This avoids my earlier politically incorrect candle tannoy platform announcement: "Alight here for the Royal National Institute for the Blind" :blink:

Edited by Kautilya

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The next Arran Concertina Event will be held from 7th to 10th October 2011.

 

Samantha - you tried that move last year. I thought that the rules precluded repeats of dodgy tries like that!:angry:

Oh No! That means I have to get back from Arran again!

 

OK - opening a naval Port illo for another train journey, starting on board the Skye Boat (song which I can just manage on my non-Kirkpatrick 20b anglo), and then, wearing my new Arran sweater against the cold, jumping on the roof of BonniePrince Charles' Royal train which will travel underground all the way in case it is seen by the banker-squeezed tina proles and into a special siding at

 

SAINT PANCRAS ICA [/b]International Concer T'minal Arrivals[/b]

 

with Tube underneath!! (This avoids my earlier politically incorrect candle tannoy platform announcement: "Alight here for the Royal National Institute for the Blind" :blink:

 

There is a mis-spelling here. It should be St. Pancreas which means it's a diabetic move and therefore not permitted.

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The next Arran Concertina Event will be held from 7th to 10th October 2011.

 

Samantha - you tried that move last year. I thought that the rules precluded repeats of dodgy tries like that!:angry:

Oh No! That means I have to get back from Arran again!

 

OK - opening a naval Port illo for another train journey, starting on board the Skye Boat (song which I can just manage on my non-Kirkpatrick 20b anglo), and then, wearing my new Arran sweater against the cold, jumping on the roof of BonniePrince Charles' Royal train which will travel underground all the way in case it is seen by the banker-squeezed tina proles and into a special siding at

 

SAINT PANCRAS ICA [/b]International Concer T'minal Arrivals[/b]

 

with Tube underneath!! (This avoids my earlier politically incorrect candle tannoy platform announcement: "Alight here for the Royal National Institute for the Blind" :blink:

 

There is a mis-spelling here. It should be St. Pancreas which means it's a diabetic move and therefore not permitted.

Ahhh but here is a sugary reply to placate you.

The Royal Train always picks up a jar or two of Kieller's Marmelade for Diabetics as it thunders through Dundee with it's mailbag pirate hook sticking out. And as everyone knows marmalade is in fact a Maritime product and does not come from trees but was introduced in line with our Naval Regulations hereuntofore applicable.

 

The 33d book of the wIKapocrypha recounts James Keiller bought a load of oranges which would have been a Gardener's Delight in Muswell hill but they had started off in Seville before the offloading ship had been blown into Port by storm. Maam Keiler allegedly turned the 'maturing' organges into marmelade but some say she just added the rind to preserve the jam and had nicked a recipe from the first marmelade factory founded in 1797.

 

As all French tune players know blood orange marmelade derives its name from this period thanks to Mme Guillotine who was having it off in 1797 with the Scarlet Pimpernel who used to go Underground to Paree from:

 

OLD KENT ROAD

 

for ze squeezy weekend. It was this year too that Napoleon was secretly tunnelling the other way under the sea as part of his naval assault plan against the English who had 48 and 56 button cannons. He called it off because Josephine had mornington Ma-maladie...........

Edited by Kautilya

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