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Stifling a sneeze


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What do you do when you are performing and you get the sudden urge to sneeze? Or an eyelash falls out (and into your eye) at a bad moment? Or if your nose or arm starts to itch and the more you try to ignore it, the worse it gets?

 

I don't perform, so while it's a nuisance, it's not the end of the world. But what can you do when you are up before an audience and something like this happens?

 

Paul N.

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I remember playing in a gig ,looking down to see a gnat biting the back of my hand.I just played on ,but did something similar to someone playing the bells.After a full circumference the thing was still holding on.

The worst thing is someone in the audience sneezing,coughing,or recently a guy who just could not keep still with his leg jumping up and down, It wasn't even in time with the music. I have always had problems of full concentration whilst playing and start thinking what is wrong with him?Why dosn't he keep his leg tied to the chair?

Al :blink:

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I remember playing in a gig ,looking down to see a gnat biting the back of my hand.I just played on ,but did something similar to someone playing the bells.After a full circumference the thing was still holding on.

The worst thing is someone in the audience sneezing,coughing,or recently a guy who just could not keep still with his leg jumping up and down, It wasn't even in time with the music. I have always had problems of full concentration whilst playing and start thinking what is wrong with him?Why dosn't he keep his leg tied to the chair?

Al :blink:

 

Lol! I'd just taken a mouthful of coffee when I read this and nearly choked. You'll be the death of me yet Al. :unsure:

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Tell the audience you have swine flu; they'll all leave in a hurry, then you can sneeze to your hearts content to an empty room.... :P

 

A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

 

MC

 

 

Edited to change swine flo to swine flu. Apologies to Flo.

Edited by malcolm clapp
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A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

Hard to say, since I don't recall it ever happening to me.

So what I do is suppress the memory?
:unsure:

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A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

 

Either pretend it hasn't happened, and carry on regardless, or make a joke about it. In future, make sure it's part of your "pre-flight checks" before you go on stage.

 

Whatever happens, the important thing is not to get flustered. A sneezing fit or lost contact lens could happen to anyone. Audiences will usually be sympathetic when something like this occurs. It's OK to stop and start again. Similarly, not even the pros are exempt from making mistakes in their playing. For inexperienced players, something like this can be overwhelming and throw off their entire performance, while experienced performers will just shrug it off with a joke and carry on. They will also have an armoury of tricks to get them through mistakes - a mistake in a tune can be turned into a "variation", forgotten words can be disguised by a bit of mumbling, an instrumental break, or making up new ones. Sometimes the audience won't even realise that you've gone wrong.

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A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

I always thought that the advice to performers, before venturing on stage, was:

 

(1) Blow nose.

(2) Check flies.

 

Note; (2) was plural, and I suspect dated back to when it was a set of buttons rather than a zip. At this point, someone might say "Too much knowledge". :(

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A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

 

MC

Always make the best of a situation. Stand tall and look proud like you're showing off your new undies. :P

If you're not wearing any, try to think of something else to be proud of. :o

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(2) Check flies.

 

 

All present and correct! :P

Maybe "Bathe" should be added to the list of things to do before venturing on stage. <_<

So.. have you ever weighed the jar when they were all flying around inside to see if it weighed less? :unsure:

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A more pertinent question: what do you do when you're playing on stage and suddenly realise that your fly is undone? :o

 

MC

Always make the best of a situation. Stand tall and look proud like you're showing off your new undies. :P

If you're not wearing any, try to think of something else to be proud of. :o

 

 

Thanks for the good laugh. Now I can start my day! :lol:

 

 

Farion

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I've had to swallow a fly once while playing flute. Swallowing the fly wasn't so bad, but I broke up laughing after. The rest of the band just carried on.

 

Probably the worst show stopper is when the piper loses the end off one of his smallpipe drones. In northern Canada the humidity can change rapidly if you're travelling, and this has happened more than once. Once the drone landed in the lap of a lady in the first row.

 

One time at a wedding dance, a very drunk man was swinging his very attractive partner around the room. After a while he decided to pick her up and spin her around on his shoulder, at which point everybody in the room learned that she wasn't wearing anything under her dress. To our credit, there was only a slight slowdown in the tune, although we laughed our faces off when it was done.

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