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Concertina Limericks

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Oh, the weather inside is still icy,

And new tinas are ever so pricy.

So I guess my MacCanns,

Though so old they need stands,

Will still keep the tunes hot and spicy!

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We all have our own special needs

Be it fishing or planting of seeds

When I have the time

I like to unwind

By practicing on my free reeds

 

I’ll sit and do this for hours

Don’t care much for seafood or flowers

The boss said it was wrong

He’d been there all along

Now I can’t pay my rent or for power :(

Edited by drbones

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A lad with a young lass called Tina

Try as hard as he might couldn't please her

48 buttons they

Just got in the way

And he found that he just couldn't squeeze her

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I had to bring this back up, it's just too much fun.

 

 

 

When I squeeze her voice starts to sing

What a joy to my heart it does bring :)

Like a thorny rose bush

All the buttons I push

Cause my fingers sometimes to sting :(

 

Am I crazy? I guess you could say

Still I squeeze her all through the day

But I think you should know

I don't do this for show

Since most people just run away :angry:

 

Yes, crazy I may be at that

Some notes do come out quite flat

I call her Athena.

She's no concertina

Athena's the name of my cat. :ph34r:

Edited by drbones

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I'll offer this up ... but it makes me realize how rusty I am at Limericks ... best get practicing on those too :o

 

After watching concertinas from afar

I thougt buying a 'Jack'was on par

With my budding desires

BUt my passion caught fire

And I now have a Crane from Algar

 

Compare wife to a 'tina, it's plain

Having more than one may cause one pain

Yet I find that I savor

More than one single flavor

Hence my three: Lachenal, Morse and Crane

 

Darn ... I still have more work to do today

 

With an Anglo, you push and you pull

An English, you've got your hands full

It's said Crane has logic,

Midi's technologic,

And Mccann, that's like riding a bull!

 

That's enough ....

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With an Anglo, you push and you pull

An English, you've got your hands full

It's said Crane has logic,

Midi's technologic,

And Mccann, that's like riding a bull!

 

Very nicely put! Should be sent to all newbies who are tying to decide which system to take up :lol:

 

Cheers,

John

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FOLKS: i did not read through the entire thread. . . .but perhaps the following was overlooked. . . .it's not a limerick. . . .still: the name of the song: "Nix on the Glowworm Lena". . . .by Macdonald and Carroll. . . .sung in the Ziegfeld Revue of 1910. . . . .

 

In a boarding house lived Lena Strauss

Who owned a concertina,

And she knew one song that she played all wrong,

But that didn't worry Lena.

 

When she rose each day,

she'd commence to play,

And the boarders throught of no term,

That was strong enough,

It was really tough,

When Miss Lena played the Glow-Worm.

 

When she started to play

the boarders all would yell, "Hey!". . . .etc etc etc. . . . .

 

the entire piece is available at http://levysheetmusic.mse.jhu.edu

 

search for "Nix on the Glowworm Lena". . . .this, by the way, is a fantastic website. . . .go there and you'll see what i mean.....Allan

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I can't believe this thread has been going on all this time without my noticing it. I've written many limericks on many topics. Here are some of the squeezebox (not all concertina) limericks I've submitted at the Northeast Squeeze-In over the years. Some have won prizes or honorable mention, some haven't:

 

For my squeezebox, I paid quite a fee!

But it got me to thinking:"Let's see...

The cost is quite nice

If you think what the price

Would have been if the reeds weren't free!"

 

My squeezebox is getting too old.

No air will the bellows hold.

The valves all leak,

The springs all squeak.

But it's worth lots of money, I'm told.

 

Jack gave his young niece a big squeeze.

And she said to him, "Uncle Jack, PLEASE!

A good hug is nice,

But I won't tell you twice.

Keep your fingers offa my keys!"

 

A melodeon player named Jack

Once played with his box on his back.

He put one arm through here

And the other 'round there.

A talent I fear that I lack.

 

Two of my favorites from NESI that I didn't write:

 

The river was fringed with japonica

As I played in the reeds with Veronica;

She squeezed "Soldier's Joy"

From my bellows, while I

Blew "Money Musk" on her harmonica.

 

There were once several squeezable maidens

With designs on Dave Barnert's fine Haydens.

His touches inspired

Their lust and desire

But they didn't go home Hayden laden.

-- (2nd prize) Deirdre Cochrane 9/20/03

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I sit here playing my squeezebox

It’s better than sitting in detox

I’ll play all day long

And I might sing a song

while dancing around in my knee socks :ph34r:

 

You may think that this just sounds silly

since my knee socks are really quite frilly :rolleyes:

but it’s oh so much fun

and when I am done

the cold nights don’t seem so chilly

 

It helps to stave off the gloom

By removing all my thoughts of doom :(

Laugh at me if you like

You can go take a hike :angry:

I’ll stay here in my white padded room. :P

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This is a true story...practically an exact quote of my roommate Claire's reaction the first time she saw me play concertina.

 

A friendly young lady named Claire

Saw me playing and tried not to stare

The notes came so fast

She asked, quite aghast,

How does all that come out of there?

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While I was talking to a young ballerina

I told her she smelled like she came from Sardinia

No, the slip was not Freudian

She called my squeezebox an accordion

An insult to my poor concertina

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Also based on a true story:

 

My first Anglo had notes that were sticky

And complex arrangements were tricky

All options were weighed in

And I bought a Hayden

(But I try not to forget Kaspar Wicki).

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OK! If you want truth, here's a true story of my own.

 

 

Stagi, Morelli, Wheatstone, Rochelle

I’ve played them all, though not very well

Try as I may

Still to this day

The music, it all sounds like H E double hockey sticks

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This never happened to me, but, if it did, it would be true.

 

 

 

One day it was sunny and clear

I took my squeeze box and sat on the pier

Then a seagull flew by

And let go in my eye

Thank goodness I play it by ear

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A number of people worry

'Bout their box being in the right key

Here's my secret confession

When I play in a sesssion

I don't worry, because I play EC

 

Something about "when the only tool that you have is a hammer ..." :blink:

Edited by saguaro_squeezer

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My wife is oft' heard to say

I play concertina all day

She says it sounds LOUD

of that, I am proud

as it frightens the cat out the way

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