When Your Heart Isn't In It

[chiton1]

Years ago, when I was much happier to travel (and much happier!), I was driven by with three drivers who "dozed off" at the wheel. On the first two occasions, I noticed, and a loud cough did the trick. On the third occasion, I was already asleep, and my driver was only woken up by a car passing in the opposite direction!

 

With a lack of performing venues within walking distance, my opportunities are somewhat limited!

 

Peter.

 

 

Hé Peter, don't let fear guide your life! There must be drivers that do not sleep while driving. And if you do not trust any of them, sit next to them and stay awake yourself.

Anyway most accidents happen at home ;-)

Hermann

[Jody Kruskal]

I respect your opinion greatly Jody...

Mark, I respect your opinion too. I even agree with you heartily. Those moments when everything is going right are a great pleasure. When I have one of those wonderful and rare peak experiences of profoundly connecting with my audience or with fellow musicians through music, then it’s a joy. I love hearing about your peak experiences and agree that they make all the other crap you have to deal with worth it.

 

I also aspire to achieve that addictive crazy place where anything can happen and everyone is hyper-aware. That time when the musicians are all influencing each other, no one is in control and you are all making music together and in agreement with each other and all very curious about what will happen next. It's great, spurring each other on to take that next step beyond what you have achieved before, and the audience with you every step of the way.

 

Yup, that’s great stuff. The point I was trying to make though is that even when that stuff does not happen, wonderful music can be made. If the musicians are taking care of business and doing their job well (the craft part) they can be tired or sick or grieving, uninspired or wishing to be home in bed and yet still step up to the plate to make music that the audience finds satisfying. Perhaps the music could have been better, yet it can still be exciting, uplifting, transformative and inspiring. That’s the magic of show biz. Everyone has their own valid experience, players and listeners alike.

 

Sure, making music can also be a cure for personal troubles and turn them around. That can be very powerful. Still, it need not happen every time. The audience has it’s own collective experience of the music being played. Feelings can certainly have an effect on what you do but they don't have to. For musicians, I say that it's what you do rather than what you feel that's important.

 

As a musician, you want to have one of those peak experiences, but just because you don’ t doesn’t mean the audience doesn’t. Well played music is what it is regardless of how the musicians are feeling at the time. The music has a life of it’s own.

 

You could think of this as getting you off the hook. Just because you feel bad does not mean that your music will necessarily be bad. Some might even say that feeling bad and suffering is a requirement for playing great music.

Edited January 19, 2008 by Jody Kruskal

[Phantom Button]

This has turned out to be a deeper thread than I expected when I launched the topic. I had been thinking, mostly, about how professional musicians muster the wherewithal to give it their all under less than inspiring circumstances.

I've grown weary of entertaining drunks after years of playing weekend nights at bars and pubs and would say my heart was no longer in it. We used to play at our local pub on Friday and Saturday nights, but the drunks and yahoos outnumbered the people who actually came to listen and enjoy the music. I decided to stop booking those nights and instead we focused on a crowd who appreciates what we do -- set dancers.

 

SF has a thriving set dance community and the trad music and dance owns Thursday nights at the pub. If you don't dance and just like to listen the sessions are on Sundays & Tuesdays and don't attract large crowds of drunks and yahoos. Diverting my energy away from the crowd that annoyed us is just what the doctor ordered.

[PeterT]

Hé Peter, don't let fear guide your life! There must be drivers that do not sleep while driving. And if you do not trust any of them, sit next to them and stay awake yourself.

Anyway most accidents happen at home ;-)

Hi Hermann,

 

I'm sure that some drivers don't sleep whilst driving (in fact I've been driven by many who haven't!), but then I still have the problem of car-sickness. It's really random, and bizarre; sometimes I'm fine, other times I'm feeling sick after just a couple of hundred yards. On a really bad day, I also suffer on trains.

 

But it's not just fear. To go somewhere, anywhere, in fact, you need to have the desire to go. When it comes to music events, I guess that I no longer have the desire and motivation.

 

Regards,

Peter.

[Mark Evans]

I've grown weary of entertaining drunks after years of playing weekend nights at bars and pubs and would say my heart was no longer in it. We used to play at our local pub on Friday and Saturday nights, but the drunks and yahoos outnumbered the people who actually came to listen and enjoy the music.

 

As Bill Clinton would say, "I feel your pain." The occational drunk can make me weary like the chap who insits I sing Boulavouge when he's reached terminal velocity (God love him, I can't abide that violent thing and just put him off). They can be funny like the one who is perhaps Obi's Boys only other fan besides Obi. He dresses kinda like a pirate and makes many trips to the outhouse where he works on downing a bottle of Scope mouthwash . On return our pirate is well oiled, fresh breathed and dancing like he had bones made of rubber. He calls for tunes that are an old timers dream, so we oblige and abide until he is finally ushered out by the management .

[Phantom Button]

They can be funny...

Indeed... sometimes they were the ones providing the entertainment all right. I have to admit, I could fill a few pages with anecdotes of drunken silliness and outrageous antics from the likes of these mentally compromised imbibers, but I’m wondering if you’ve ever encountered the zombies that show up amongst them from time to time. These individuals would sit close by and watch you intently as they tap their fingers on their pint glass or tabletop to the beat, but when you stop playing all they do is stop tapping. They’ll still stare at you, but there’s no other sign of life unless they take a drink. People around them might be applauding but the zombies don’t seem to notice. Then as soon as you start playing the next tune they resume with the tapping.

 

One time when one of these zombies was sitting by himself on a bench that goes along the sidewall and when we stopped I dedicated the next tune to "our friend sitting on the bench there enjoying the music." This actually conjured a reaction and he slowly looked one way and then the other to see where our "friend sitting on the bench" was. Then he looked back at us but without any sign of cognizance of who I was referring to. Spooky

[richard]

Mr. P.B.

 

I feel "signs of cognizance" are very overrated!

 

Richard

[Phantom Button]

I feel "signs of cognizance" are very overrated!

Hahahaha... considering your line of work I can see why.

[oggie]

I'm a professional fretworker. I cut names for a living on a pitch in York. I can be cutting five days in a row or, if the weather's bad, I don't work at all. My living depends on "show", how I react with punters, how good my product is etc. I cannot afford a "bad" day, if it's raing I won't be working tomorrow and I'll still have bills to pay. It doesn't matter if my heart's not in it, it has to be, no show no dough.

 

For a professional musician it's the same, do a bad gig and word get's around, especially with the 'net. Do a bad tour and you might as well retire. It's the abilty to put on a show that seperates the professional musicians from the rest of us. It is also one hell of a pressure which is one reason why so many get off the carousel.

 

All the best

 

Steve

[Mark Evans]

[i’m wondering if you’ve ever encountered the zombies that show up amongst them from time to time.

 

Oh yes! It was one of the reasons Obi's Boys stopped playing the Cantab in Cambridge. It turns out in our case that said Zombies were mostly bluegrass players in the area who had stumbled in to check us out (my band mates are deeply involved in that scene in Cambridge and knew who they were). Spooky-icky-ooky for sure. That plus the crappy sound system and stinking WC tipped the scale for me. When someone opens the door to the "facilities" and you are immediately aware of it due to a particular amonia odor....perhaps another venue to persue one's avocation is in order .

 

Bye the bye, Obi's Boys had a lovely gig at our Blanchards Saturday night. The regulars braved the cold and warmly packed the room. Sadly, the pirate has been banned from the establishment. I kinda missed him when we played Ragtime Annie, for he always out did himself on that one. I love that room for it's small and no sound system is needed or wanted.

Edited January 21, 2008 by Mark Evans

[Alan Day]

I rarely go to Folk Clubs but Peta Webb and the Titanic Syncopaters (They always go down well) were on and I decided to go along.

I was asked to do a floor spot. I decided to do one easy and two very difficult numbers."About time I took a chance " I thought.

Disaster the first (the safe one) I messed up.The second ,I have never played better ,the third was OK until my nose started running and I lost my concentration, but finished OK. I was very depressed about it until someone came up to me afterwards and said that he had not heard playing like that since he recorded Fred Kilroy ,which made me feel a lot better.The evening was great (mainly 30s and 40s stuff )with Peta singing in superb jazz style.

The band leader came out with a great story from one of their Gigs, a woman came up to him after their performance and said "Excuse me ,What is that music you are playing" he replied "Oh mainly Jazz Music from the 1930s" " Oh" She said.

"I thought it was Bloody Awful".

Al (depressed and my heart isn't in it!!)

[JimLucas]

The band leader came out with a great story from one of their Gigs, a woman came up to him after their performance and said "Excuse me ,What is that music you are playing" he replied "Oh mainly Jazz Music from the 1930s"

" Oh" She said. "I thought it was Bloody Awful".

I'm curious as to how he responded. I know I would have been tempted to say something like, "Well, if that's how you feel and you're still here, then you must be a masochist. I'm glad to have been of assistance."

[Alan Day]

Sorry Jim he did not go any further with that story.It did however give him a good talking point for his gigs.

I did not press him for any further information on the Fred Kilroy recordings (one of your favorites) , as one of the band members is Tony Engle ,playing Saxophone.Tony was of course the concertina player of "Webbs Wonders" and no longer plays Anglo sadly.His concertina style was similar to Will Duke.

Al

[PeterT]

I did not press him for any further information on the Fred Kilroy recordings (one of your favorites) , as one of the band members is Tony Engle ,playing Saxophone.Tony was of course the concertina player of "Webbs Wonders" and no longer plays Anglo sadly.His concertina style was similar to Will Duke.

I seem to recall a thread about Tony's Anglo some 18 months ago (and remember some of the content!).

 

Regards,

Peter.

[Mark Evans]

Some might even say that feeling bad and suffering is a requirement for playing great music.

 

Oh yes, that is often said. I found the experience overrated. My mother had just passed away on Thanksgiving Day in 92'. By December 7th I had to be in Montreal to sing a run of Messiahs. I wasn't sane by any means, but the music and being there in Notre Dame were the only things that made sense. It was my Requiem to her. I gave it my all, was content with the result and never sang the work again. There was a Welsh BBC documentary of the event (Welsh conductor Ewen Edwards the reason) which I have never seen.

 

Thanks for expanding on the meaning of craft, for you are as expected right on the money.

Edited January 22, 2008 by Mark Evans

[Aogan]

Don't beat yourself up about it man. There was a time in your life when you didn't play concertina, there was a time in your life when you didn't know what a concertina was! You go through life, you develop an interest in something, it gives you some months or years of pleasure and that interest may well wax and wane as your life progresses and changes. If you're not enjoying it, put it to one side, you may well settle back into it, who knows.

 

Over the last couple of years I've found myself playing less and less, to the point at which now, unless I have a gig, I can go months without playing at all. And to be honest, I'm not sure that I miss it. It's strange to think back when I was younger and I'd go to a weekend festival in some town and play for hours and hours.When I do go to play, I do still enjoy it, although I'm far less tolerant about my surrounding conditions. That applies to everything though. I used to stand around outside drinking cans with mates. but now I insist on a quiet pub with a seat .

Perhaps when the kids are a little older and I have more time again I'll return to the social side of concertina playing and play "out" for fun. Perhaps not. Either way, what has gone before has not been a wasted exercise, and what's to come? Well who knows.

 

As for playing in public -I've never liked it. Well, I've never liked playing on my own to an audience. I frickin hate it in fact. -Safety in numbers I always say

 

Anyway, hope you come to terms with your situation. If it's any consolation, at least it's a sellers market

Edited January 22, 2008 by Aogan