If You're In Boston...

[moonsagotunes]

Someone emailed this to my husband and I thought it was kind of funny.

 

So....now I'll go play my 'consuhteenuh.'

 

Come to Bawstin (Boston)

 

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

 

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley. Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

 

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it wrong, be shunned**

Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)

Gloucester : Glawsta

Leicester Lesta

Woburn: Wooban

Dedham : Dead-um

Revere: Re-vee-ah

Quincy: Quinzee

Tewksbury : Tooks berry

Leominster : Lemin-sta

Peabody: Pee-ba-dee

Waltham : Walth-ham

Chatham: Chaddum

Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summerset!

 

Definitions:

Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.

If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.

Soda is CLUB SODA.

"Pop" is Dad.

Wh en we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.

The smallest beer is a pint.

Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.

It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.

It's not a spucky, a hero or grinder,... it's a sub.

It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.

It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.

They're not franks; they're haht dahgs; Franks are money in Switzahland.

 

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza". If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza". It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic. It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary. "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.

 

The Sox = The Red Sox

The C's = The Celtics

The B's = The Bruins

 

Things not to do:

 

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville) .

Don't sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)

Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

 

Things you should know:

 

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).

 

The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':

"Solid blue, clear view...."

"Flashing blue, clouds due...."

"Solid red, rain ahead...."

"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out)

 

Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.

 

Most people live here all their life and still don't know what the hell is going on with this one.

 

 

The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).

Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians.. . think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.

Bostonians.. .think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's - except in idea").

Bostonians.. .think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.

Bostonians.. .refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."

Bostonians.. .always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

Bostonians.. .believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.

Bostonians.. .think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.

Bostonians.. .think Rhode Island accents are annoying.

[David Barnert]

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it wrong, be shunned**

...

Waltham : Walth-ham

But, but...

 

I went to college at Brandeis in that fair city and everybody pronounced it "Wall-Tham" (equal stress on both syllables). My freshman roommate told me he got on a bus at Watertown Square (excuse me, Wottatown Squaya) and asked if it was the bus for "Walth'm" and somebody hit him with an umbrella and corrected him.

 

But I don't see any mention here of that unique Boston mystery, the flashing green traffic signal. As I understand it, it means "Nothing to worry about right now, but at other times this might be a flashing yellow or red, so next time you drive through here, be alert."

 

-----------

 

Finally, I have to mention that this whole thing reminded me of a joke my father used to tell:

 

Name three towns in Massachusetts named after Governor Peabody.

 

Peabody, Marblehead, and Athol.

[seanc]

But I don't see any mention here of that unique Boston mystery, the flashing green traffic signal.

 

 

Maybe I can help out on this one... that flashing any sort of light means.. "What light??" or stictly optional.

And if you see somebody stoping or taking any sort of action aside from blowing through it. then that is a warning to all of us natives to be on the lookout for that driver as "they ain't from around he'ah", probably one of those scary driv-ahs from Rho-Dye-Lyn...

 

 

Jst my 2 cents.. And Yes, I do live south of Woooostah and north of Uxbdridge, where as far as i can tell I have yet to see ever one Ux anywhere.. never mind one "goin' ovah any wicked pissah bridges on the way to the packie", but, I digress..

[moonsagotunes]

But I don't see any mention here of that unique Boston mystery, the flashing green traffic signal.

 

 

Maybe I can help out on this one... that flashing any sort of light means.. "What light??" or stictly optional.

And if you see somebody stoping or taking any sort of action aside from blowing through it. then that is a warning to all of us natives to be on the lookout for that driver as "they ain't from around he'ah", probably one of those scary driv-ahs from Rho-Dye-Lyn...

 

 

Jst my 2 cents.. And Yes, I do live south of Woooostah and north of Uxbdridge, where as far as i can tell I have yet to see ever one Ux anywhere.. never mind one "goin' ovah any wicked pissah bridges on the way to the packie", but, I digress..

 

You're one of those brave people who actually drive around here, I guess!

 

I stick pretty close to my house, and I even have a favorite traffic spot -- there's a 'no right-on-red' sign! It's a wonderful rest stop, and nobody honks at me to tell me to get moving!

 

Well....I do actually drive a distance sometimes, but, it's true that I tend to head north or west, not east towards Boston. There's always the T, though, thank goodness.

[seanc]

Born, raised, learned to drive here.. I have never thought twice about driving into Boston. I have always considered cutting people off an art form. And I have always considered being cut off as high praise for my driving ability..

No turn on red signs?? what are those for? I thought red lights were just for the leaf peepers and did not apply to us, more like a guideline or suggestion.

[ocd]

The main rule for driving in Boston: if you don't make the other guy slow down, you are OK.

 

ocd

[jggunn]

Dave is right on the pronunciation of Waltham -- I grew up there on the other side of Prospect Hill. Also we always pronounced Woburn as Woe-ban not Woo-ban

[David Barnert]

Dave is right on the pronunciation of Waltham -- I grew up there on the other side of Prospect Hill. Also we always pronounced Woburn as Woe-ban not Woo-ban

Hey, Jack.

 

How've you been since you left Albany, land of no small number of unusually pronounced place names?

Colonie = colo-NEE

Valatie = v'LAY-sha

Cairo = CARE-o

Berlin = BURR-l'n

Schaghticoke = SKAT-a-cote (or SKAA-ko)

Greenwich = Greenwich

Edited December 29, 2007 by David Barnert

[Mark Evans]

Driving in Boston:

 

I'd lived in Brighton two years before working up the courage to buy an old VW Golf and start driving. On coming out of the Norht End at the old exit ramp to the elevated 93 South, I encountered a local driving a 60's battleship sized sedan. We were neck and neck up the ramp which eventually narrows to one lane. I was steadfastly standing my ground when his window rolled down. In a heavy North End accent he advised, "When ya' tryin' ta cut a guy off, neva' make eye contact. Jus' cut ya' wheel shaply' and give it da' gas." With a big smile he did just that and left me in a cloud of oily blue smoke.

 

I also learned on my own that the most beat up junker excuse of a car has the right of way in a rotory.

 

Several months after the North End lesson my brother from Tallahassee, Florida flew up to visit. On bringing him back from the airport, I was very careful to be on my best driving behavior. Evidently not, for poor Chris kept trying to hit a non exsitant brake pedal on the passengers side all the while screaming, "brother, don't do it." .

Edited December 29, 2007 by Mark Evans

[seanc]

hmmm odd...

I pronounce it Woo-Burn. But i have ALWAYS been corrected by Woburn people as the correct pronunciation is Wooo-bn.. no vowel there. Kind of like Pee-bdee..

[m3838]

Driving in Boston:

Are you sure you're not exagerating?

I visited my friend in Boston some 15 years ago ( ) and never noticed any difference from driving behavior in Portland Ore, or San Francisco. In Moscow, on the other hand, the rules are tough, they always follow you at 10 cm distance from your bumper and can't even understand what is "2 second" rule. Many cars, even new, are dented.

[Mark Evans]

Are you sure you're not exagerating?

I visited my friend in Boston some 15 years ago ( ) and never noticed any difference from driving behavior in Portland Ore, or San Francisco. In Moscow, on the other hand, the rules are tough, they always follow you at 10 cm distance from your bumper and can't even understand what is "2 second" rule. Many cars, even new, are dented.

 

No that's my experience. San Francisco can be vicious in my opinion but it is well within the Boston model. Funny you should mention Moscow. Brightion (my first neighborhood) has a high concentration of Russian immigrants (Irish as well). Your discription of Moscow seems perfectly natural for the old 'hood .

 

After spending some time traveling by car in Italy, Boston et al seem rather a snooze.

Edited January 2, 2008 by Mark Evans

[allan atlas]

WENDY AND FOLKS: that definitely calls for a guide to New York. . . . . .

 

we start with a quick lesson on Brooklyn pronunciation. . . . . .upon crossing the border from Brooklyn to Queens (each of which is a separate county or borough) as one drives along the Belt Parkway, there is a wonderful sign:

 

"LEAVING BROOKLYN. . .FUHGETABOUDDIT"

 

the next lesson concerns BAGELS. . . .GET THEM FLOWN IN FROM NEW YORK. . . . .everything else is a not-so-good imitation. . . . .

 

and for the third lesson: the admission fees at such museums as the Metropolitan Museum of Art are only SUGGESTIONS. . . . .you do NOT have to FORK over all that money. . . . .do you know that the head of the Met -- Mr. de Montebello -- is the highest payed director of a not-for-profit organization IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.............i kid you not................

 

and finally: there were only slightly more than 400 murders in New York during 2007. . . . .the lowest number in approximately forty years. . . . .the city is safe, clean, interesting, fun, and a wonderful place to be.................

 

allan

[m3838]

the city is safe, clean, interesting, fun, and a wonderful place to be.................

 

Unless you happened to be one of those 400.

 

Otherwise I'm in.

[Robert Booth]

(...or Portland, Oregon...)

 

Ive always been told that drivers in portland were the epitome of courtesy... those folks must have been from L.A.