End Expensive Concertina Acquisition Misery Now!

[Bernie Inakayak]

I know I'm new here but I've just had a truly wonderful idea. Why not make a computer keyboard play concertina notes? Pull and push could be handled through the space bar, or a foot pedal (mouse). What could be simpler?

 

My state-of-the-art laptop is still much cheaper than the concertinas you all want, and you can't use a concertina to look at pictures of ladies with no clothes on, now can you?

 

Why go to all the trouble of hand-assembling more than 1000 fiddly components, when the solution is already at hand?

 

I thank you.

 

Bernie

[Leo]

I know I'm new here but I've just had a truly wonderful idea. Why not make a computer keyboard play concertina notes? Pull and push could be handled through the space bar, or a foot pedal (mouse). What could be simpler?

 

Why go to all the trouble of hand-assembling more than 1000 fiddly components, when the solution is already at hand?

 

I thank you.

 

Bernie

Bernie:

Like this??

http://www.id-werbeagentur.com/concertina/

Thanks

Leo

[David Barnert]

Rich Morse and I talked about this in 1987. I even devised a system to notate Morris tunes on my Sharp Wizard (remember those?) by typing on the keys as if they were buttons on my Hayden duet.

 

Edited to change the above date (it was 1987, not 1986) and to add:

 

I just noticed this:

...and you can't use a concertina to look at pictures of ladies with no clothes on, now can you?

Bernie, I think you'll find that playing a real concertina rather than a virtual one is more likely to induce real live ladies to take their clothes off for you (worked for me). Edited November 15, 2006 by David Barnert

[Ivan Viehoff]

In fact who needs live musicians or instruments at all, when their sound can be reproduced by computer much more cheaply. Who needs natural ingredients in their food, when their effect can be produced more cheaply by cheap and safe chemicals? Who needs real flowers, when fabric ones can be hard to distinguish and last much longer? Who needs to talk to real people, when computer programs can now almost undetectably reproduce human conversation, thus avoiding the messy consequences of unwanted rejection, anger or violence?

 

Warning to children: Don't try David Barnert's undressing spell at home, it has concealed dangers which can only be avoided by experienced and competent wizards.

[Bernie Inakayak]

Bernie:

Like this??

http://www.id-werbeagentur.com/concertina/

Thanks

Leo

 

No no no. I've seen that, it looks very impressive of course but it's a huge disappointment, I actually collapsed in floods of tears when I used it, I mean you have to use your mouse, it's completely unlike playing a concertina. My method would use the computer keyboard.

[chris]

, I think you'll find that playing a real concertina rather than a virtual one is more likely to induce real live ladies to take their clothes off for you (worked for me).

er what was the tune

chris

[chris]

sorry that was too sexist. I was typing without thinking

chris

[Bernie Inakayak]

Rich Morse and I talked about this in 1987. I even devised a system to notate Morris tunes on my Sharp Wizard (remember those?) by typing on the keys as if they were buttons on my Hayden duet.

 

Thank you David, I knew someone would see sense. And thank you very much for volunteering to lead the project. How long do you think it will be before we can sample the results? It would be great if you could start with an Anglo version, as that is the kind of concertina I want and can't bring myself to tell Mrs Bernie what they cost, seeing as I bought a fiddle last month and a surf kayak and a lot of CDs.

[Bernie Inakayak]

sorry that was too sexist. I was typing without thinking

chris

 

I don't think it was too sexist, or even sexist at all.

[Leo]

No no no. I've seen that, it looks very impressive of course but it's a huge disappointment, I actually collapsed in floods of tears when I used it, I mean you have to use your mouse, it's completely unlike playing a concertina. My method would use the computer keyboard.

Bernie

AHA! After reading the rest of the replies, now I get it. Thanks. Would a touch screen be out of line??

Thanks

Leo

[Missing Song]

... I think you'll find that playing a real concertina rather than a virtual one is more likely to induce real live ladies to take their clothes off for you (worked for me).

er what was the tune

chris

 

Were you a boy scout chris?

 

(edited because I'm better at making cakes than using forum quote facilities)

Edited November 15, 2006 by Missing Song

[Hooves]

I know I'm new here but I've just had a truly wonderful idea. Why not make a computer keyboard play concertina notes? Pull and push could be handled through the space bar, or a foot pedal (mouse). What could be simpler?

 

My state-of-the-art laptop is still much cheaper than the concertinas you all want, and you can't use a concertina to look at pictures of ladies with no clothes on, now can you?

 

 

I have seen at least one home made MIDI concertina, at least that has the keys in a fashion similair to a concertina. But for me, and a lot of people with more sense than me, acoustic instruments will always be my preffered choice. Theres just something about an acoustic instrument, knowing its NOT a synthetic beast, that makes it more fun and endearing.

 

I suspect that acoustic instruments will be around for a long time and will always be in demand -

 

especailly during black outs.

[Bernie Inakayak]

Bernie

AHA! After reading the rest of the replies, now I get it. Thanks. Would a touch screen be out of line??

Thanks

Leo

 

Hi Leo,

 

Why would you want that when we already have a keyboard? Also, you seem to be making the fatal mistake of taking what I say seriously!?!?!

 

Bernie

[David Barnert]

er what was the tune

If you think the choice of tune had anything to do with it...

Thank you David, I knew someone would see sense. And thank you very much for volunteering to lead the project. How long do you think it will be before we can sample the results? It would be great if you could start with an Anglo version, as that is the kind of concertina I want and can't bring myself to tell Mrs Bernie what they cost, seeing as I bought a fiddle last month and a surf kayak and a lot of CDs.

I don't play Anglo, I play Hayden Duet. Back then, I tried to write a program for the Mac in Microsoft QuickBasic but ran into the problem that there was no way to capture two keys at once. If I remember correctly, there was also a problem working with note lengths, as well (making sure the computer knows how long you're holding the key down).

[Missing Song]

...I tried to write a program for the Mac in Microsoft QuickBasic but ran into the problem that there was no way to capture two keys at once. If I remember correctly, there was also a problem working with note lengths, as well (making sure the computer knows how long you're holding the key down).

 

Is it possible to capture two keys at once with dual core?

(back to the ironing)

[David Barnert]

Is it possible to capture two keys at once with dual core?

This was a Mac Plus I was working with. Motorola 68000 (or was it 68010?) processor, a megabyte of RAM and a 20 MB external hard drive.

 

But I think it was a software problem rather than a hardware problem. Microsoft QuickBasic hasn't been supported in many years and doesn't run under OSX. It might be possible using other software.

[Missing Song]

Is it possible to capture two keys at once with dual core?

This was a Mac Plus I was working with. Motorola 68000 (or was it 68010?) processor, a megabyte of RAM and a 20 MB external hard drive.

 

But I think it was a software problem rather than a hardware problem. Microsoft QuickBasic hasn't been supported in many years and doesn't run under OSX. It might be possible using other software.

 

I've been out of the loop for quite a while so I'm happy to admit that I have little clue. I chuckle because, although your mac plus seems a bit old, as a mature student at University, I was the only person who had ever owned a ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64 or worked on a BBC Acorn. I even learned how to use punch cards. All the other students called me grandma despite being in my mid 30s at the time.

 

Dual core may well solve the problem in terms of recognising two key captures at once, writing in VB or whatever, but whether you could hear those two sounds together without sending each sound to two speakers or not I dunno. I laughed before I wrote the suggestion because what i really fancied writing was this:

 

We could easily solve the problem by creating a concertina shaped keyboard, utilising dual core technology. Alternively we could just play our instruments.

[David Barnert]

Alternively we could just play our instruments.

You know where my preference lies.