Tina Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 Almost lost the threads ... what was it about ? I like this one where after the checkup the doctor tells a musician he only got three more days to live. Strange that to my inner eye the musician always appears as a double bass player ... no free reeds here just steel strings (not his nerves though) (now this is not part of the joke). But from what ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 What's the difference between a roadkilled hedgehog and a roadkilled concertina/melodeon/accordion/bodhran (delete as required)? There are skid marks leading up to the hedgehog. Perfect pitch? When the concertina/melodeon/accordion/bodhran (delete as required) you pitch into the skip hits the banjo that's already there. Theo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Harrison Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 I was at a concert the other day ( By Jeff Warner) who plays English concertina and banjo and this was his joke... Question......How long does it take to tune a banjo ? Answer......No-one knows ! Robin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Day Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Tina you remind me. Wife "What`s the matter can`t you sleep" Husband "No I didn`t tell you,the doctor said today I only have six hours to live and that was five hours ago". Wife "Well hurry up! I have got to work early in the morning". Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoffwright Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Whenever a low-whistle appears in our band, there is always much mirth asking "Is it scaffolding, curtain rails or whale noises tonight?" at which point the low-whistle driver imitates seagulls or does the shower scene from Psycho with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Timson Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 What's the difference between a musician and a mutual fund? .....The mutual fund eventually matures and earns money. To the folk musician who won the lottery, "What will you do now?", "The same as before, I guess, play until the money runs out". Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Then there was the concertina player who tried to retune his instrument on stage. .... His tuning jokes were later published as a 5-volume set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Madge Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 (edited) How can you tell if the concert stage is level? If the concertina player dribbles from both sides of his mouth. Robin Madge Edited September 23, 2004 by Robin Madge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart estell Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 How can you tell if the concert stage is level?... Hurray, now we're on to the modified viola-player jokes My favourite one of these is one I've usually heard told as being about a violinist and a viola player, but it'll do for boxes as well: Did you hear about the time the concertina player locked his keys in the car? It took three hours to get the melodeon player out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Ghent Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 The english concertina player was just getting stuck into his first pint when he realised he had left his EC in the car. He rushed out, but it was too late. Someone had smashed the window and thrown two more in... yes its an oldie but a goodie... Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 The english concertina player was just getting stuck into his first pint when he realised he had left his EC in the car. He rushed out, but it was too late. Someone had smashed the window and thrown two more in... Bah! What they threw in were anglos, I'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Prebble Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Q. How do you put a sparkle in a Melodeon player's eye ?? A. Shine a torch in his ear Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lildogturpy Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Then there was the guy who went into a second hand shop. The owner was a little surprised when the man spent a long time looking at the radiatior attached to the wall. After a while he wandered around some more and then fixed on the fire extinguisher. Eventually the man came up to the shop owner. "Nice accordion you have there, but how much for the saxaphone?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Prebble Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Fella goes into a bar and says to the barman...I've got a new Banjo joke... wanna hear it?? Barman stands up off his stool (all 6' 8" of him) and says " Have a care Buddy... I play a banjo.....and you see that bloke over there ( points to a 25 stone much scarred lump of Neanderthal gristle) he plays a Banjo too....... and see him over there, (a pockmarked weasel faced mafia type sharpening a cut throat razor) he plays a Banjo too". pause...... Well?? did you tell the Joke then?? What .......And have to explain it three times !! Dave PS Joke courtesy of Rob Murch..... A truly superb Banjo player... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomlaw90 Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Heard from a Clare fiddler: Q: How do you tell a Kerry fiddler is out of tune? A: The bow is moving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Day Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 "My Grandfather used to play the concertina." "Really, that`s interesting. English? " "No he was Irish." "My Grandfather used to play the concertina" "Really ,that`s interesting. Duet?" "Yes thanks, had my dinner before I came out. "My grandfather used to play the concertina". "Really,thats interesting.Anglo?" "Yes! Thank goodness went back to live with her Mum." Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLucas Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Are there any good concertina jokes out there? ... Isn't that redundant? But the question remains: Are there any good concertina jokes out there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted September 26, 2004 Author Share Posted September 26, 2004 The english concertina player was just getting stuck into his first pint when he realised he had left his EC in the car. He rushed out, but it was too late. Someone had smashed the window and thrown two more in... Bah! What they threw in were anglos, I'm sure. Yes ... but there Are real good ones ... and thank you all for sharing ... so what if we start another thread titled 'Are There Any Bad Concertina Jokes ...' And THIS couldn't have been me - I only own one You all have a nice day today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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