NoNaYet Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) I'm playing my regular gig in the hospital atrium. I play once a week on a week day, but also usually play a day on the weekend. No one else plays on the weekends. I got a half dozen smiles, waves, or thumbs-up; one woman asked for some Italian songs I unfortunately did not know, and one woman informed me that she had her husband's, father's concertina and took my number so I could come by and see it. Then as I was about to play my final song a guy came up and said (quoted exactly) "That is the most obnoxious crap I've ever been forced to listen to." Well, all I said was "sorry." In another venue I probably would have said something like "Thanks for sharing that, I bet that makes the rest of your day better a** hole." I guess a lot of folks here would have told him to bugger off. Never had anyone go out of their way to ruin my session before. NNY Edited September 10, 2011 by NoNaYet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Wild Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) I'm playing my regular gig in the hospital atrium. I play once a week on a week day, but also usually play a day on the weekend. No one else plays on the weekends. I got a half dozen smiles, waves, or thumbs-up; one woman asked for some Italian songs I unfortunately did not know, and one woman informed me that she had her husband's, father's concertina and took my number so I could come by and see it. Then as I was about to play my final song a guy came up and said (quoted exactly) "That is the most obnoxious crap I've ever been forced to listen to." Well, all I said was "sorry." In another venue I probably would have said something like "Thanks for sharing that, I bet that makes the rest of your day better a** hole." I guess a lot of folks here would have told him to bugger off. Never had anyone go out of their way to ruin my session before. NNY It would prompt me to enquire what was he listening to before!!! - John Wild Edited September 11, 2011 by John Wild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saguaro_squeezer Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Maybe he prefered harp ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danersen Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 NNY, As a medical professional, I encourage you to consider the irrationality of the speaker's comments and recognize that the dynamics at play probably had absolutely nothing to do with you or your playing. I doubt that he was forced to listen to your playing, but I can imagine that he just might have been "forced" to listen to the results of a bad report or a poor prognosis or the distress of a loved one. Could be more than just a bit of transference going on here. Think of it this way — you may have been the only person available to whom he could safely vent his distress. He certainly doesn't want to rail on his medical practitioners/advisors and ... After all, your hands were tied up in your concertina. Be Well, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoNaYet Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Dan, I would never act out in the hospital. I know it is not necessarily a happy place. Didn't make it fun though. The lady who invited me to see the old 'tina was attending to her husband who had heart and kidney problems, and I gave her my happy thoughts. I have been practicing Happy Birthday, for the next time they play Brahms Lullaby :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoNaYet Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Dan, You raise an interesting issue for me. I have a psychology degree, and I am a trained hostage negotiator. This guy was hit and run, and I had no chance to talk. Of course I am not there to be a counselor, but if he had sat down and said my music made him sad, or just simply he needed to talk to someone, I would have worked with him. I knew when it happened that this was a place to let things roll off, but I always worry that I am intruding on folks when I play. Good post. This will help me remember where I am and what I am doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Stout Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Many of those who don't say anything may be finding your playing a gift and a high point of the day. I've been home from the hospital for a week. I had surgery to remove several vertebrae and take pressure off nerves which was leading to some paralysis which was making playing concertina very difficult. Now I find it therapeutic to play, though my playing isn't up to my earlier standard. I have stage 4 lung cancer (seems unfair to a non-smoker!) and I see a hard fight ahead. One of the nicest pieces of support one of my friends has given has been to come over on two occasions to play for me. One time he brought a harp and one time a fiddle. Music is a valuable gift to one in pain, terror, and exhaustion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoNaYet Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Best of luck to you Larry, Last year I had to be away from home for 6 weeks for radiation treatment. I stayed at the Hope Lodge in Atlanta. One of the very best nights I had was when, near the end of my nightly hour of 'tina practice in the fireplace room, a group of folks came in and made requests and kept me playing a half hour longer than I had planned. Music is therapeutic for both the listener and the performer. NNY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoNaYet Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I feel somewhat embarrassed now about being so put off by the incident. Thanks to all of you for helping me get my mind right. NNY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danersen Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 NNY, May I respectfully suggest that the administration of the hospital will rescind your invitation if your playing becomes an intrusion ... and that you leave that to their discretion? Until that happens, I encourage you to continue your good deed with satisfaction and confidence. Be Well, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitfordRI Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Then as I was about to play my final song a guy came up and said (quoted exactly) "That is the most obnoxious crap I've ever been forced to listen to." Given that you were in a hospital setting, I wouldn't rule out an Axis II issue ... But even if it were a personality disorder, a comment that unkind would still upset most people. You handled it well. And talking about it here is a rational response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anglo-Irishman Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Many of those who don't say anything may be finding your playing a gift and a high point of the day. Absolutely! In my part of Germany - known for the dourness of its inhabitants - there's a saying, "Nix g'schwätzt isch g'nug g'lobt", which translates as "Nothing said is praise enough!" I think this applies equally elsewhere. If the listeners don't walk out on you or start chatting among themselves, you're doing a good job, in the opinion of the majority! Cheers, John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael sam wild Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I'd put it down to the unfortunate guy's problems I had it from a bipolar patient in a ward. It is also sometimes strange when people who come into sessions etc set out to be offensive. It might be that they feel an intrusion into their territory or feel excluded by the togetherness of the players. Or sometimes it just isn't their type of music. Shrug it off and play for those that like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I'd put it down to the unfortunate guy's problems I had it from a bipolar patient in a ward. It is also sometimes strange when people who come into sessions etc set out to be offensive. It might be that they feel an intrusion into their territory or feel excluded by the togetherness of the players. Or sometimes it just isn't their type of music. Shrug it off and play for those that like it! To impose a musical performance upon passers-by is, I would guess, to take a risk and be prepared to accept the consequences. Whilst one would undoubtedly hope for a polite and appreciative reception, both the performer and the listener are surely entitled to equal freedom of expression, disappointing as that might be ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Hi As part of my job I play Irish music on the concertina for old folks at a long term care facility. Some may be unwell and others very sick. Some times I play better than others and sometimes I may not play well at all! But most the times the residents are gentle listeners and appreciate any music within a general range of acceptability. Once a lady who is my friend told me how bad it was when I was done playing. As a friend I told her she could at least offer me some encouragement and she told me "OK, I encourage you to go home and practice". I look at it as a chance to practice and play in front of people which is very good for one's progress. I am definitely "doing no harm" and sometimes people seem to enjoy it and it makes them feel good. You can't please everybody.Its good if you don't expect to, and have thick skin. Richard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitfordRI Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Once a lady who is my friend told me how bad it was when I was done playing. As a friend I told her she could at least offer me some encouragement and she told me "OK, I encourage you to go home and practice". Richard Thank you! You just made my (rather late) night. I'm not sure who is funnier, you or her. But credit to you for a terrific story. Long may you tell it! Lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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