John Kirkfaustus - Shock Horror!

[Kautilya]

The background:

 

Swaledale Squeeze takes place in a remote former hunting lodge on the edge of the high wind and rainswept moors or North Yorkshire. It should be no surprise therefore that evidence of the dark forces gathering to take over the free reed movement should have emerged there last month. They have penetrated at the highest level and we must all fear for beginners being initiated unknowingly.

 

While investigating the mystery of how we found part of Ms Dolly Armless inside a melodeon (see Melnet: http://tinyurl.com/2esm9pw ) we mentioned that there was some disturbing dark forces about John Kirkfaustus’ playing. It was clear also that other leading free-reeders such as Steve (he flaunts his allegiance to the movement -- a double-bluff cover obviously) and ally Rees Wesson have also been sucked into this demonic scenario if not lead-players....

 

Imagine our concern when we went to moviemaker to find the all-revealing files had disappeared…………the tapes proving the dark secret of the Demon Daffodil’s powers had disappeared since they were first downloaded in mid-May and watched with amazement.

Despite evil forces having clearly been at work, after more than four hours (and two useless goals in France-England match) going through giga-hours of old cards, the Daffodil is beaten – the files have been recovered….!

 

If you are easily tempted you need to be warned before viewing the video which follows that it was at this morning study group that John Kirkfaustus announced he would shortly be offering his new printed collection of compositions. It was a devious move (great crossover stuff) as anyone in that room would have been unknowingly subject to forces beyond their control. So think hard before you buy "JUMP AT THE SUN" - the so-called John "Kirkpatrick" Tunebook – it could take you places which you never thought you would ever see.

 

Subliminal advertising? No! A warning! You may also be tempted to buy one of his CDs – beware, look for the telltale spots of blood bleeding from the Daffodil on the sleeve………it is part of the demonic scheme. (All proceeds are moved clandestinely, coded C F# (Chelsea Flower Show), to a bank offshore of England in the account name of Daffydyldredd (sister of DaffyDwch) in a small, little known village in Gwynedd, called Llanfairfechancwncertynapwmelodyonyangloenglychbandonwyongarmonysbanyan y tyn-y-whystel. (It has nothing to do with any musical rituals connected to any Heisteddfoddnoten).

 

And now the incontrovertible evidence – you will notice in the first clip that poor John is clearly being controlled – just watch his eyes being “turned” – some dark force is beginning to take over his mind and so the movement of the fingers. The main clip then starts and the camera (which always lies) shows The Demon Daffodil clearly transmitting to and controlling its Chief Acolyte. At the end The Daffodil goes radiowavegalactic when Kirkfaustus calls on the initiates to copy him… And we all thought John had chosen the Daffodil ... the opposite is clearly the case.

 

“At this point in time” all we can say is that the evidence of mindtakeover only applies to players of concertinas (and expensive big-Bertha Anglos in the main… which is why John is very careful with 20-button players... they seem to spook him.

 

Fortunately Melodeon players have considerable protection through their Theologico-celestial connections but the Wesson boxes may already have subterfugal internal powers like the "Black" Soprani di San Paolo boxes, which Vattican-can Castatrangi (sorry, can't spell the Melodeon brand name) do not have.

 

So next time you see someone playing a box, check their eyes, bearing in mind the implicit evidence against other ‘star’ players mentioned earlier. If they are playing without notes and casting not a glance at their fingers on the keys, look for the Daffodil ….buttercups do not seem to be involved at this stage …but…. It is know that CUSHIE BUTTERFIELD, ( http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=91321 ) third cousin to (Cushie/Cushy/Coushy Buttercup:

http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=1418 )is in fact related to DaffyDyll through a covert melodeon repair and sales operation on the main trafficking route near the A5 (the ancient GunGrog Road which the Romans used as they played their way from Welshpool to Ynys Môn).

 

Shield your eyes from the rays of the Demon Daffodil

Courtesy and © the 'white'power of insightandmind

 

Edited June 13, 2010 by Kautilya

[Dirge]

You've been at those toadstools again. Haven't you?

 

We've told you about them before.

[Kautilya]

You've been at those toadstools again. Haven't you?

 

We've told you about them before.

I am told the witches sit on them to get their erusaelp deep in the forest...not for humans, only the Daffodil Eaters who play funereally after ingesting... :o

[Steve Mansfield]

You are aware, I take it, that John's son Benji plays in an excellent (but sadly concertina-free) trio called ... Faustus?

 

Coincidence? I think not ...

 

Did JK say when the book's coming out?

[Kautilya]

You are aware, I take it, that John's son Benji plays in an excellent (but sadly concertina-free) trio called ... Faustus?

 

Coincidence? I think not ...

 

Did JK say when the book's coming out?

No, did not -- Ho Hum I smell the blood of - That explains why he said he had written special tunes for each of his children but you cannot guess the offspring's name fromm the toon name...

 

He said this month - let me try to find notes with the publisher details...

[Gungrog]

Just to clear up a few details.

 

Whilst I fully admit that demonic forces are involved (I am, after all, a melodeon maker), the daffodil is nothing more than a spy camera secretly planted by my acolytes. It was originally developed by the Free Wales Army in the 1960s and more recently perfected by the Sons of Glyndwr. The reason that it was pulsating with that strange glow was that we had simply forgotten to change the batteries. It was, I admit, being used in a clandestine manner to spy on Mr. Kirkfaustus (aka God). This is our standard procedure at this level of concertina workshop. Similar devices are also used on Alistair Anderson (aka Jesus Christ) and Noel Hill (aka The Holy Ghost). The system was first employed when observing Saint Peter (Bellamy).

 

Gungrog is a corruption of the old Welsh, Gwaun-y-Grog (place of the gallows or the hanging field) and melodeons have been played on this site since long before the Romans arrived.

 

Of course, I do not actually manufacture the instruments myself. This is undertaken by a team of horned troll-like creatures using only a sledgehammer, forge and anvil. Most of the materials are derived from melted down Jeffries and Wheatstones plus the odd Dipper. We are always on the lookout for raw materials, so if you have any of these old, out of date instruments lying around we are always ready to take them in part-ex against a brand new Wesson one-row melodeon. If you wish to throw in the odd Lachenal, then I will send you a free CD. If you don't like the CD please return it and I will swop it for one that I don't like.

 

Musicians often complain of the sulphurous fumes and Satanic noises that emanate from my instruments. Melodeon players, however, are instantly beguiled and I now have to build a bigger store-room to accommodate their lost souls.

 

I hope this helps.

Edited June 21, 2010 by Gungrog

[Kautilya]

Just to clear up a few details.

 

Whilst I fully admit that demonic forces are involved (I am, after all, a melodeon maker), the daffodil is nothing more than a spy camera secretly planted by my acolytes. It was originally developed by the Free Wales Army in the 1960s and more recently perfected by the Sons of Glyndwr. The reason that it was pulsating with that strange glow was that we had simply forgotten to change the batteries. It was, I admit, being used in a clandestine manner to spy on Mr. Kirkfaustus (aka God). This is our standard procedure at this level of concertina workshop. Similar devices are also used on Alistair Anderson (aka Jesus Christ) and Noel Hill (aka The Holy Ghost). The system was first employed when observing Saint Peter (Bellamy).

 

Gungrog is a corruption of the old Welsh, Gwaun-y-Grog (place of the gallows or the hanging field) and melodeons have been played on this site since long before the Romans arrived.

 

Of course, I do not actually manufacture the instruments myself. This is undertaken by a team of horned troll-like creatures using only a sledgehammer, forge and anvil. Most of the materials are derived from melted down Jeffries and Wheatstones plus the odd Dipper. We are always on the lookout for raw materials, so if you have any of these old, out of date instruments lying around we are always ready to take them in part-ex against a brand new Wesson one-row melodeon. If you wish to throw in the odd Lachenal, then I will send you a free CD. If you don't like the CD please return it and I will swop it for one that I don't like.

 

Musicians often complain of the sulphurous fumes and Satanic noises that emanate from my instruments. Melodeon players, however, are instantly beguiled and I now have to build a bigger store-room to accommodate their lost souls.

 

I hope this helps.

Would you be interested in buying an old, goat-leather bellowed box? The end wood has "Owain Glyndwrivaryws" carved inside and (forensic tested) highlighted in red with English blood. The date is not too clear: looks like 1363. But the address of the dealer was on a piece of vellum stuck under the reeds inside:

 

Gungrog, Dealer in Lyz, Lyres and Free-Rees Instruments, Inns of Court (near Mych's Caff on Fleet St), drinking hours 1700 to 0400, Monday to Friday. This must have been when Glyndwr was having the time of his life after his daytime law lectures coz I see his nickname was Owain ap Gruffydd Fychan.

I understand the last word interms of student entertainment, but not sure what the verb "Gruffyding" means in Welsh. :P