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Rusty Fingers


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Alan a’Dale was telling a tale

when his fingers failed him one day.

He tossed his lyre into the fire

and looked for else to play.

He spotted the bellows and

said, “Look, fellows.”

Squeezing it produced a fine wail.

 

He pulled up some weeds

and fashioned some reeds,

while the bones from the mutton

provided many a button.

But his mates started to rail

when he kicked over the ale,

and sent him along on his way.

 

Alan a’Dale lost his ale

and became just plain old Alan Day.

It’s been a long chain,

but his loss was our gain.

For through the years, from ales to beers,

we crowned his grandson 20 times yet

the official poet laureate of concertina dot net.

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------

It was my forebear, Much the Miller’s son,

who witnessed all these things that were done.

None knew of his heart’s desire

to trade the Miller’s wheel for a lyre.

But from Miller to Mills, we’ve all had the curse

We always write doggerel, never quite verse.

Edited by Stephen Mills
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Lost Job

 

Here I sit in my cell,which could be cleaner

playing on my old concertina

When out of the blue

a rhyme comes through

so good and very clever

that from the grace that I fell

My poet laureate job as well

has now gone away for ever.

 

Nice one Stephen

Al

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Here I sit in my cell,which could be cleaner

playing on my old concertina

Alan the Day now fritters away

His hours in a cell for the errant.

He's doing his time for attempting to rhyme,

But instead penning something aberrant.

 

At the word "concertina", the judge just became meaner,

And lengthened Al's sentence for spite,

So now Mr. Day's days, are spent in a daze,

And it isn't much better at night.

 

But this sentence unjust won't deter Alan's lust

For amusements that magistrates curse.

Our laureate poet will never outgrow it;

He'll never "make good", only verse.

 

We hope soon he'll be free(d), thanks to friend Michael Reid

Whose experience in foreign affairs

(No, not Beckham, you fool! what Mike studied in school!)

Will have Alan soon squeezing fresh airs.

 

........copywrong 22/4/2004. Jim Lucas

Edited by JimLucas
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Oh you guys are all so clever.

 

Yes, of course, Al, I ate the bunny. I did it, I did it.

 

But you are doing the time, so no sense my being incarcerated too.

 

Just play the Jailhouse Blues on your concertina. Nice of them to loan you a computer to write your doggerel.

 

And speaking of dogs, glad yours is better.

 

Yum, the bunny was delicious. I ate the ears first.

 

Helen

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Exhibit A:  UK vs. Alan Day

Reminds me of the "missing" segment from the Watergate tapes.

A little technological expertise, some quick surgery, and... doctored evidence!

 

And can we be sure that was even the alleged victim in the photo, and not some other "cwazy wabbit"?

You will note the impossibility of identification through dental records.

 

Alan, don't let them squeeze a false confession out of you.

We're working on your appeal!

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As far as the new evidence is concerned ,I have been advised to say NO COMMENT

Thank you Jim and all for your concern but please do not worry about me.The bread and water diet I am getting used to and some entertainment has been organised for me.Next week is Rack week and those in here that know tell me that when the week is over I will be able to play my concertina standing up around my ankles.Also I am excited as many of my cardigans and jumpers which were designed for gorrilla`s will fit in the arms.

The following week will be Swinging blade(lets see how near we can get)week and the following will be music week,the same tune played continuously for 24 hours a day.Suggested tunes so far are "Wandering star" and "We are the cheeky girls".

They are looking for suggestions for other tunes and other possible weeks.

Yours cellbound

Al

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Okeydoke, Al,

 

I suggest the song You are My Sunshine. One of the lap dulcimer teachers absolutely hated that song. Every year at camp, all the other teachers taught their students that song and then EVERYONE played it for her. Continuously.

 

Helen

 

Sorry you are taking the rap, but hey, what are friends for. I bet there will be another bunny picture posted with more of the bunny missing. What do you think?

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I suggest the song You are My Sunshine. One of the lap dulcimer teachers absolutely hated that song. Every year at camp, all the other teachers taught their students that song and then EVERYONE played it for her. Continuously.

I always hated that song until it came out on the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack. There, it's a really nice song, done very well! Go figure....

 

:)

Steven

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Finding of the 5th Assizes, Horley, Surrey, England.

 

Based upon the following new evidence, the defendant Alan Day is released from custody, if he agrees to to 6 months of rhyme counseling.

 

The pictured animal, surname Cusick, is barred from entering the United Kingdom.

 

(Ha! Don't mess with me, Helen. But let's hope I didn't preempt a new Alan Day poem.)

post-4-1082753114.gif

Edited by Stephen Mills
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Ah Stephen that is too funny.

 

But I don't think it is creditable. Had MORE of the bunny been missing, then yes. But you just took Al's eaten bunny and put it by poor Taffy.

 

A pox on you, a pox I say, for accusing my poor dog of Al's larceny.

 

Helen

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I don't think it is creditable.  ...you just took Al's eaten bunny and put it by poor Taffy.

While I'm convinced of Al's innocence, it is indeed not creditable that the dog is the guilty party.

The victim was, after all, a chocolate rabbit, but a dog named Taffy could only be expected to eat Welsh rabbit. ;)

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