Mattamar Pazzolov

Having no skill what-so-ever on my box has not stopped me from recording with it as a background drone to some music. I've found an Overdrive/Bit-crusher/modulated combination with a little vintage wah creates a tone not unlike a flaming Aboriginal didgeridoo recorded off an answering machine (which, incidently, is kinda what I was going for). This same combination used on my clothes dryer yielded similar results.

As the saying goes, "Beggers can't be . . . . ", you know the rest. From what I've read so far many of this forum's topics are well-thought out conversations that are intelligently worded without rudeness or spite. This is rare on the internet. If anything, I'll stick around for the uniquely engaging thoughtfulness. M. P.

Hello Concertinists (if that's the proper term), I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself, state my intentions and make it clear from the start that I am both a very serious-minded individual and an absolute fool. I have recently acquired a beautiful, but forgotten, Patek concertina. The case contained a contract and receipt which identfies it as 104 style E. It was purchased at Patek's Music Store in Chicago for $85.00 in 1930 by my step-father's father when he was 15 years old. I've been a working musician, on and off, for 20 years. Back in the late 80's/ early 90's I was one of those fancy-panced rockers with the gigantic hair and make-up that somehow managed to get gigs without any discernible talent and attract flocks of women dispite looking like a transvestite. A fine situation for any enterprising 14 year old, believe me. After half a decade of posturing with my bass guitar I decided it was high time I actually learned how to play it. I have since had the opportunity to play with many great musicians in a variety of genres. Two factors led me to the concertina (aside from finding one for free in my parents crawl-space): 1. While working as a pornographer in Toronto Canada I discovered an underground clown cult. My roommate at the time was developing a slight clown fetish and introduced me to his newest clown girl who, in turn, introduced me to her collective of entertainers at Clown Hall. I eventually found myself in full clown gear tromping around the greater downtown area and causing general mayhem under the guise of "art". I now perform regularly as a clown, studying trickster god mythology, the history of laughter, the evolution of the human smile and various forms of body language theoretics. The addition of the concertina to my act will be historically accurate and insanely aggrevating (for me to learn and for my wife to listen to). Me at my wedding earlier this year. (My wife is very tolerant and quite possibly mad like a hatter.) 2. My musical career as of late revolves around recording commercial music, mostly digital. The base (no pun intended) is usually bass guitar and drum loops accompanied by electronic sounds, samples, slurs and midi instruments of infinite varieties. It's a wonderful job and a great way to explore composition and arrangements, but it is work none-the-less and becomes the thing you rush home from after awhile. I have been in the market for an instrument that baffles me. Something unlike anything I'm familiar with. Something that will allow me to re-experience the whole process of learning from scratch all over again. Something that doesn't have to be plugged-in and leashed to electricity and magnets and 200 pound boxes of speakers. So here I am, starting fresh, and absolutely clueless and ignorant and happy. Over the last week I've spent a couple hours a day noodling around and trying to get a feel for the instrument. Today I started in on Henry Silberhorn's Book 1 from 1910 and realized, upon playing the proper scales, that 40 years of neglect has not been kind to the Patek's tuning. The box is in great condition and sounds most notes well, but has a few clunkers that whistle like plummeting anvils. I'm assuming there are reeds that need repair or replacement because most of the box sounds great. If anyone has any other theories I'd love to hear them. See you around the boards, M. P.